Practice

Para-dāra-parigraha

பர-தார-பரிக்ரஹம்

Also known as: para-dara

Meaning

Approaching another's spouse (*para-dāra-parigraha*); sexual misconduct involving another person's spouse; an explicitly prohibited conduct for a Śrī Vaiṣṇava that violates the integrity of another's relationship and the purity required for devotional life.

Detailed Explanation

Para-dāra-parigraha — Prohibition of Adultery

Para-dāra-parigraha — taking or approaching another's spouse — is among the explicitly prohibited acts (niṣiddha karma) in the Dharmaśāstra framework that governs Śrī Vaiṣṇava life. It falls in the category of akṛtya — actions that must never be done regardless of circumstance.

The prohibition operates on multiple levels. At the social level, it destroys family integrity, causes immense suffering to innocent people, and violates the sacred saṃskāra of vivāha (marriage), which is among the most solemn life-cycle rituals through which two souls covenant before Bhagavān. At the spiritual level, it represents a profound failure of the indriya-nigraha (sense-control) that is essential for maintaining the purity of heart and mind required for devotional practice.

The Rāmāyaṇa provides the tradition's most powerful testimony: Rāvaṇa's abduction of Sītā, and the catastrophe that followed, is the ultimate narrative about the consequences of para-dāra-parigraha. Conversely, Rāma's absolute fidelity (eka-patni-vrata) is held as the ideal — the standard that Bhagavān Himself embodies in His incarnation.

For a prapanna, this prohibition is not an external constraint but an expression of inner transformation. A soul that has genuinely surrendered to Bhagavān and recognized Bhagavān's presence in all beings (sarvatra sama-dṛṣṭi) cannot view another's spouse as an object of desire. The recognition that all jīvas are Bhagavān's śeṣas — and thus worthy of complete dignity and respect — naturally forecloses this category of transgression.

Practically, the Śrī Vaiṣṇava Āchāryas also emphasize this prohibition within the framework of sva-bhāryā santuṣṭi — finding satisfaction in one's own spouse — as the positive complement to avoiding para-dāra-parigraha.

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